Like a herd of insanely yapping Bengal tigers scavenging the Samoan pampas’ temperate desert glaciers for rotting raisinets, our 217 legal information experts — all former Ivy League Law School Deans — toil at our luxurious Isles of Langerhans’ Command Complex, continuously cruising cyberspace under the watchful gaze of our beloved Head Librarian Ralf, zooming from exclusive enclave to excrement choked slum, searching for the legal materials needed to satiate our beloved patrons’ every frivolous whim & decadent desire, some of which we humbly present below.
There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth. — Jean Giraudoux
If you’re into legal study and research you’re in the right place. We’ve collected, prepared, and edited tons of legal research guides, course/subject outlines, class tests and real-world info on legal education and being a lawyer.
EXCLUSIVE NEWS SCOOP
Our D.C. Bureau Chief (Ralf’s brother Rupert) has unearthed a little known law:
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RESEARCH GUIDES
Yes, there’s such a thing as luck in trial law but it only comes at 3 o’clock in the morning. … You’ll still find me in the library looking for luck at 3 o’clock in the morning. – Louis Nizer
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native
American criminal class except Congress. – Mark Twain
LEGAL EDUCATION
Be prepared, be sharp, be careful, and use the King’s English well. And you can forget all the other rules unless you remember one more: Get paid. — Robert Nix
Law school is the opposite of sex . . . even when it’s good it’s lousy. – R. Rinkle
Here’s some files from our Legal Professional’s Lounge that you’ll find useful if/when you become an official shyster. (Oops, we meant ‘admired, respected, and much loved attorney.’)
OUTLINES & PATHFINDERS
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. — Woody Allen
Qusquis est qui velit juris consultus haberi, continuet studium, velit a quocunque doceri. – Whoever wishes to be a lawyer, let him continually study and desire to be taught everything.
No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense and relatively clean fingernails. – J. Mortimer
IMPORTANT COURT DECISION SUMMARIES
These Files are Well Done Summaries of Important Court [Mostly U.S. Supreme Court] Decisions on Their Respective Topics. We’ve Included Both Normal Text & Zipped Versions of Each File.
If you think that you can think about a thing, inextricably attached to something else, without thinking of the thing it is attached to, then you have a legal mind. – Thomas Powell
LAW EXAMS
Law school seems to change people’s behavior; lawyers have a superiority complex… But generally they are so vague and abstract, very narrow and not very bright. They use their legal training to see the world in a very restricted way, but they can’t generalize… They have tunnel vision. — Mass. Legislator
Some men are heterosexual, some are bisexual, and some don’t think about sex at all … they become lawyers. – Woody Allen
Hey, if law school’s so hard, why are there so many dumb lawyers?
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